Oh, hey, what’s up. We just wanted to pop in and give you a quick “411” on objectification. Non-objectification is when you like recognize a person’s humanity and individuality in relationship to any larger groups they might belong to (all people, gender, race, etc.) and stuff like that. Objectification is when you ignore all that about a person and instead take her as a blank slate to project all your boring childish hipster dreams about women onto.
Related: Boner Party is not a “celebration of women” as they are, but a “celebration” of women as the writers of BP so desperately want them to be. In a purely sexual context, natch. So dudes who think BP is totally real and hilar and awesome, you probably don’t give a fuck, but that’s what you’re reading: the hyperactive yearnings of young men who don’t seem to have ever even tried to know any women personally.
I don’t like to argue about politics. I don’t like to argue about any philosophy, really. I know what I believe is right and I think You are wrong, but I try to be polite enough to keep it to myself. It’s a lot easier to get along with people this way. I have friends who say things I don’t agree with and, generally, that’s fine. I don’t cross them off unless they are truly offensive (but I don’t have friends who would be, so problem solved). Everyone slips up; eventually someone is going to not agree with me, but I try to let it slide.
I’ve tried to do the same thing with bloggers. If I don’t like your content, I try my best not to read your blog! It saves me the energy I waste by getting angry at you because of what you have to say. And hey, I’m sure there are people who don’t like my blog! That’s fine! It’s their problem!
But when you’re going to have a blog that, yes, objectifies women, albeit in what one might think is a gentle, funny, ironic way, you’re gonna make some enemies. Lady enemies! So you also shouldn’t get bent out of shape over it, especially if you’re populating your website with sex fantasies and high-school humor. Sorry, but it’s true! I only assume that’s what’s going on over on Boner Party (which I won’t link to out of principle) because I don’t read it. Why? Well, there are two reasons:
- I’m a gay dude.
- I think it’s sexist.
It’s sexist. It is. The debate, however, is if it’s sexist in a gross, bro-tally dude way, or if the lighthearted “Party” in the title somehow negates the fact that you’re essentially saying, “You know what I’d want to do with this girl? Fuck. I don’t want to chat, watch a movie, or go out to a lovely dinner and then give her a quick peck on the cheek at the end of our date. I want to fuck her.” Now, the rest of you can try to argue about how to read that, but I read it as sexist. Well, I don’t, because I don’t read Boner Party.
What bothers me, though, is that there are people - dudes especially! - who really think that women aren’t so objectified in our culture, that they aren’t given the short end of the stick, and that the reason they have been in that situation for, oh, forever is because they lack some sort of special talent that only men have and truly strive to achieve. Oh, and that it’s perfectly acceptable to talk about how you want to fuck them.
Maybe I’m just a gay dude and therefore not blinded by pussy like the majority of you straight guys, and can behave like a mature and thoughtful adult, but I think I side with the ladies here.
i dont know. its a very fine line, and its all about intent, in my opinion. i think recognizing a woman is beautiful is not sexist. i think recognizing that you are moved in a very visceral way is not sexist. sex is natural, and amazing, and i dont think there’s anything wrong with admiring the human form and verbalizing those fantasies
theres a subtle difference between that, and making condescending allusions. stripping the object of its worth. there’s a tangible quality to respect, and i think you can appreciate beauty but when you dont respect the human behind that you are objectifying them.
What she said.
Boner Party doesn’t just write “OMG BOOBS”
The whole idea of Boner Party is celebrating all the subtle, magical things about women. It’s not about tits and ass, it’s about what she talks about, how she sees the world, what makes her unique.
If anything, Boner Party is ANTI-sexist.
I don’t like to argue about politics. I don’t like to argue about any philosophy, really. I know what I believe is right and I think You are wrong, but I try to be polite enough to keep it to myself. It’s a lot easier to get along with people this way. I have friends who say things I don’t agree with and, generally, that’s fine. I don’t cross them off unless they are truly offensive (but I don’t have friends who would be, so problem solved). Everyone slips up; eventually someone is going to not agree with me, but I try to let it slide.
I’ve tried to do the same thing with bloggers. If I don’t like your content, I try my best not to read your blog! It saves me the energy I waste by getting angry at you because of what you have to say. And hey, I’m sure there are people who don’t like my blog! That’s fine! It’s their problem!
But when you’re going to have a blog that, yes, objectifies women, albeit in what one might think is a gentle, funny, ironic way, you’re gonna make some enemies. Lady enemies! So you also shouldn’t get bent out of shape over it, especially if you’re populating your website with sex fantasies and high-school humor. Sorry, but it’s true! I only assume that’s what’s going on over on Boner Party (which I won’t link to out of principle) because I don’t read it. Why? Well, there are two reasons:
- I’m a gay dude.
- I think it’s sexist.
It’s sexist. It is. The debate, however, is if it’s sexist in a gross, bro-tally dude way, or if the lighthearted “Party” in the title somehow negates the fact that you’re essentially saying, “You know what I’d want to do with this girl? Fuck. I don’t want to chat, watch a movie, or go out to a lovely dinner and then give her a quick peck on the cheek at the end of our date. I want to fuck her.” Now, the rest of you can try to argue about how to read that, but I read it as sexist. Well, I don’t, because I don’t read Boner Party.
What bothers me, though, is that there are people - dudes especially! - who really think that women aren’t so objectified in our culture, that they aren’t given the short end of the stick, and that the reason they have been in that situation for, oh, forever is because they lack some sort of special talent that only men have and truly strive to achieve. Oh, and that it’s perfectly acceptable to talk about how you want to fuck them.
Maybe I’m just a gay dude and therefore not blinded by pussy like the majority of you straight guys, and can behave like a mature and thoughtful adult, but I think I side with the ladies here.
(via jgh)
the worst thing about being a self aware kind of guy - which, i gather is you if you indeed have a swinging dick between your legs and you’re reading what i’m writing - is that you are very consciously aware of the age old wisdom: guys are stupid, and girls are crazy.
guys are stupid in a cartoon way. if you’re a girl and you’re reading this, please skip to the next paragraph. ok. no girls are reading this? ok. DUDE. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH WOMEN BEING SO BATSHIT ALL THE TIME? I KNOW, RIGHT? but seriously, that aside, we are stupid in exactly the same way that Tom from Tom & Jerry is “stupid” (he’s the cat, you idiot). we know what we want but have no idea how to get it. silly traps? fun and games? wine and dine another intermittent character to make her jealous enough to come over there and ruin your date? that’s exactly what its fucking like and you know it. unless you’re some kind of creepy super being that just gets pussy on the fly because pussy to him is like jazz and he’s the miles davis of vagina, just grabbing notes out of the air because he “just can”. FUCK that guy. thats not you. he will die alone and angry one day after yelling at the dog. YOU will go on to be “a great dad”, and stuff like that. conveniently, you read Boner Party, and will leave me a large sum of money on your will. i’m kidding. so dude - you don’t need to worry. just understand that you’re stupid.
ok. women. i’m sorry. woMYN. ok, first off, that womYN thing is fucking annoying. overtly aggressive feminism is to women what Yoko was to the fucking Beatles. you broke up the band. i’m sorry. but women - please understand that you are fucking crazy. and its not in a fun “Bridget Jones Lets Spoon You Can Eat Ice Cream I’ll Watch Hulu And Smoke Some Weed” kind of way. fuck no. fuck no not today thank you kindly. women: you are crazy in a way like a Stephen King novel. you are so epic in your craziness that you draw us in, making us read all sorts of shit in to you, laugh with you, cry with you, and when you’re done with us you stick around with us forever in some way or another until the day we die. it fucking sucks. thats the power you have over us. so that means that with every little plot twist we are enveloped in it and invested in it. so that means that when you throw shit at us like “the man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed” or “Pet Cemetery”, it blows our fucking minds because we have no idea what the fuck you’re going on about really but we have to keep following (ok quick tangent: there was ONE fucking pet in Pet Cemetery. i thought it was about PETS. but no. its about a DEAD KID. total fucking bummer).
women, you’re still fucking crazy. its not fair that you have this sort of power over us because its like giving your keys to a Kennedy. you make irrational decisions. you collect shoes. you have periods at the same time as other women just because you are in the same vicinity as them what the fuck is that about that is some fucking werewolf shit im fairly fucking sure. i’m also fairly sure a woman invented The Snuggie. a sizable minority of you fucking ENJOY Sex & The City (hint: anyone who likes that show is a secret whore). so its totally NOT fair. sure, we think farts are fucking hilarious and cry at Wonder Years episodes when nobody is around, but women - fuck - to put it in the simplest way possible: you can’t “emotion” your way out of a problem. and that goes for both sexes, really, but applies directly to yours. and dont give me that Rosie The Riveter mega-femme bullshit. we’re all in the same boat. i just told you how dumb we all are. the least you can do is put the ‘A’ back in ‘WOMYN”.
did i leave anything out? no. i dont think so.
